Saturday, August 6, 2011

A different approach

So late one night, while skulking the sewers of the internet for the most swarthy of sustenances, I came across an incredibly uninformed discussion about the current economic crisis. After spamming the thread with gay bagpiping porn for half an hour, I then decided I had nothing to do but actually read the links that were vomited upon my screen. There, I LEARNED THE MAGICAL TRUTH: recessions are great for the economy! When the world is in recession, people buy less, consume less, and throw away less! Nothing couldn't be better!

And seeing as how investment bankers have single-handedly thrown the world into a painful recession from which it is just coming out of, I feel that if I want to keep succeeding as a pioneer in environmental warfare, I must adopt those methods which are most effective, irrespective of the human costs (becuase let's face it: you people are all scum.).

Henceforth I have taken up a position at the investment firm JP Morgan Chase, home of the most economically destructive banking practices known to man. Right now i'm cleaning their toilets, but through goose-related shenanigans I will extort and molest my way into a position of power!

Wish me luck!


  1. dude it wasn't just the bankers that did it, it was those that controlled them, the shiny reptilian puppeteers. YOU KNOW what i'm talking about. david icke was right.

  2. have heard about a ressource-based-economy?
    No pun intended lol