Tuesday, April 26, 2011

I hate you all

Why did I create this horrible waste of electricity and bandwidth? While other supernatural entities receive regular national media attention and thousands of fans that regularly lavish them with praise and saliva, all I receive is more consumer filth from Quizno's, who have been joined by Canadian Tire and the Playboy Company. I urge you to harass their corporate executives and their families, as these people have all taken out pre-emptive restraining orders against me, complete with court-ordered tracking beacons.

"Hey Captain,
I'm assuming the green on your outfit represents the earth, the blue is the sky/ocean, and the yellow is for the sun. I'm afraid to ask, but what does the red represent?


Surprisingly, the answer to this is fairly mundane: red represents the reproductive processes of the earth, from the molten heat of our planet's core, to the blood running through every placentia that has ever existed. If one were to go through the creation stories of most superheroes, that person would be able to read quite a bit of fetal imagery into what would otherwise be mundane tales of tragic loss and assumptions of major responsibility.


  1. Hang in there...be the change you want to see. It's not easy, but I'm def behind you all the way. :) Don't let one person ruin your whole day. The person isn't worth the trouble.

  2. I always thought the Red represented your evil Socialist leanings to be honest Captain.